Tuesday, March 07, 2006

So I guess Tom Brinkman was right after all.

Several months ago, Tom Brinkman called Jean Schmidt a "pathological liar."

Many people thought Tom was just being his usual, not-so-bashful self. But with the S.S. Schmidt running full-speed into iceberg after iceberg, it's beginning to look as though Jean Schmidt is at least one or more of the following:

1) Pathological Liar
2) Hopelessly Inept

Either way, it's becoming obvious that she isn't exactly "Congressional Material."

And now, another edition of YOU DON'T KNOW SCHMIDT

Monday, February 06, 2006

Allen Freeman, Political Genius



The Mockingbird has sponsored a Haiku Contest in honor of our Congresswoman. Here are just a few entries. Feel free to submit your own in our comments section.

Standing in the well
Brain failure, mouth gaping wide
Seventies Gymnast

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Every time she speaks
Portman's legacy trampled
Save us McEwen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And now, a limmerick:

There once was a girl from Clermont
Who could buy anything she did want
But she bought a red dress
Oh! What a mess.
Quick! To Iraq, she did jaunt.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Got a better one? Submit it in the comments section.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Schmidt votes to pass law criminalizing The Mockingbird

The Mockingbird blog recieved word today that we must either disclose the identity of those who publish here, or cease and desist from all future blog entries that are posted anonymously.

Jean Schmidt voted to pass a law, HR 3402 which provides criminal penalties of up to two years in prison for posting anonymous messages on the internet with the intent to annoy.

The Mockingbird freely admits that all posts published here are:

1) anonymous
and
2) annoying to some.

Thus, it is clear that The Mockingbird Blog would be in violation of the law were we to post any new messages that are both annoying and anonymous. In the case of this particular anonymous post, my attorney assures me that we can use the defense that the primary purpose of this post was educational rather than annoyance.

Surely the Supreme Court will strike this law down in short order. But until they do, I'm going to toe the line. No more blog entries from the Mockingbird depicting Jean Schmidt as the lying, corrupt, self-serving RINO she is.

No more except this one, last little entry...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Schmidt's "Liberal Image Enhancement Service"

Batavia, OH - Are you an obscure, unknown, or hopelessly insignificant liberal politician? Do you know someone who is? If so, you need the Jean Schmidt "Liberal Image Enhancement Service" (L.I.E.S).

What is L.I.E.S.? Simply put, Jean Schmidt's L.I.E.S. program is a new offering from the woman herself, and she guarantees that her "clients" will go from relative obscurity to nationally known liberal hero in less time than it takes to destroy Rob Portman's conservative legacy.

Notable beneficiaries of Jean Schmidt's L.I.E.S. are Democratic Senate Candidate Paul Hackett, Congressman and War Hero John Murtha, and even Republican Marine Colonel Danny Bubp.

"You don't have to be a liberal to feel the impact of Jean's L.I.E.S. program," said Marine Colonel Danny Bubp. "The service works fast too! One afternoon, I picked up the phone and called Jean. Later that same night, my phone was ringing off the hook! Jean's L.I.E.S. really work."

Click to enlarge image.

Another client, Paul Hackett, was a wacko liberal trial lawyer without any hope of political success before he met Jean Schmidt. Now, he's a hero to liberals across the country, appearing on programs like Hardball with Chris Matthews and the Bill Moyer show on HBO.

"Before I met Jean, I was an unknown trial lawyer. Thanks to Jean's L.I.E.S. program, I'm a Marine Corps war hero and a serious player in Ohio politics! I owe my political career to Jean's L.I.E.S."

Yet another liberal, Congressman John Murtha, was an obscure Democrat in the House of Representatives - now, he too is nationally known as a Marine War Hero.

"Without Jean's L.I.E.S. I'd still be twiddling my thumbs as an insignificant bit player in the House. Now, I'm one of the top Democratic fundraisers and a household name. A bit more of Jean's L.I.E.S. and we Democrats might retake the House AND Senate. I could be majority whip, and I'll owe it all to Jean's L.I.E.S.!"

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Save the Second District!

By now, you've surely heard about the original plans to put anti-Schmidt billboards in Portsmouth. The latest is that they will spend a considerable fortune attacking our precious district, but why? The Mockingbird, being an astute political observer, offers the following analysis:

Why would the Democratic Party waste more than a quarter of a million dollars on a billboard attacking a conservative, er, Republican candidate in the heart of the most Republican Congressional District in the nation?

ANSWER:
Because the Democrats smell blood.

And they know there is a great white shark lurking in the 2nd District waters, gobbling up campaign contributions, waiting to strike. And strike he will - on or before February 16th.

His name is Paul Hackett, and he smells blood.

You heard it here first.

So, my fellow Republicans, it's time we band together to keep the 2nd District in conservative hands! Print this sign below and display it proudly to show your true Conservative Pride and Solidarity!

We must act NOW to save our district!

Monday, November 28, 2005

All you need to know...

Click this link to see the precise problem with Jean Schmidt.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Harriet Miers vs. Jean Schmidt

Who can embarrass conservatives more?

 
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The Speaker Speaks

Denny has to be wondering what the heck we were thinking last June.

 
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Distribute Freely

As always, the artwork at The Mockingbird may be distributed freely without fear of any retribution from the Mockingbird. However, no representation or guarantee of safety can be made with regard to Jean Schmdidt's Goon Squad.

 
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